#1: GROWING OLD?? Author: Emmy, Location: ScotlandPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:32 pm ---- This was sent to me today thought I'd share it with you all
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly
widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says,
' For fast relief.'
THE SENILITY PRAYER :* Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
#2: Re: GROWING OLD?? Author: qnana, Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:45 pm ----
Beautiful - thanks for brightening my day!
#4: Re: GROWING OLD?? Author: JoeB, Location: Chicago AreaPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:14 pm ---- Haven't been hiding my Easter eggs yet, but each day I hide something. Also have been watching TV reruns with a new enthusiasm. Reading some books that seem familiar is becoming another problem.
#5: Re: GROWING OLD?? Author: Emmy, Location: ScotlandPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:23 pm ---- Guess you are like me Joe my problem is I put things away in safe places and those places are ssssooooo safe even I cant find them- to be more truthful I cant remember where I put them!!!
Just think how I'll enjoy watching my family's faces (either when I'm looking down on them or looking up!!) when they unearth all those sentimental things I've squirrelled away---but one thing for sure it will be like the vault in the film 'Richie Rich' - nothing of value!!
#6: Re: GROWING OLD?? Author: JoeB, Location: Chicago AreaPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:54 pm ---- The only things of value around here are my Family Tree files which most of my descendants role their eyes at when I bring up the subject. Hopefully someone will appreciate them down the line (I keep giving them flash drives for their birthdays :-)). Meanwhile, I guess I'll try to figure out where I left my car keys and then go out and get lost.:-)
#7: Re: GROWING OLD?? Author: nuccia, Location: Toronto, Ontario, CanadaPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 9:11 am ---- So then this should fit in nicely..
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, Beloved, etc. The couple had been married almost 40 years and clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host,
'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names ' The old man hung his head.
'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 5 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is !'
#8: Re: GROWING OLD?? Author: Emmy, Location: ScotlandPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 8:43 pm ---- Still hope for me yet then .
Good idea to keep this in mind for future reference but more than likely when I need it I will have forgotten it